


For Who You Are

by lunaseemoony



Series: For Who You Are [1]
Category: Secret Diary of a Call Girl (TV), The Politician's Husband
Genre: F/M, Light Angst, Romance, Smut, Spoilers, Teninch Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-20
Updated: 2015-07-20
Packaged: 2018-04-10 06:22:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,859
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4380626
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lunaseemoony/pseuds/lunaseemoony
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Aiden Hoynes has fallen in love with a girl whose real name he doesn’t even know. He becomes obsessed with learning more about the mystery girl behind Belle’s mask. And when his jealousy gets to the better of him, he makes a gamble that puts Belle’s entire career at risk.</p>
            </blockquote>





	For Who You Are

**Author's Note:**

  * For [KTRose](https://archiveofourown.org/users/KTRose/gifts).



> This is a special _fic_ in this series, a birthday fic for KTRose

 

She’d loved the idea of being in his office. They were anything but alone, whole herds of staff and other cabinet members passing by the door every second. It had a lock. But where was the thrill in that? All of Britain already thought that Aiden Hoynes had been stepping out on his wife with his nanny, no matter what he’d said against it. Having a woman in his office after he’d gotten a divorce shouldn’t have been too much of a surprise. In fact he held a small fragment of hope that someone would walk right in to him with a blonde bombshell in his lap.

Aiden knew too well the sort of risque attire that Belle had in her employ. But she never wore any of it for him. She was every bit as sophisticated as her name implied. For him she wore  _gowns_  rather than dresses, even if they were just meeting up at a hotel. The moment she opened a door and stepped into a room she owned it. Women glared at her. When he wore Belle on his arm and she sauntered down a walkway with him he received a good many dirty looks (at least from people who didn’t care to look at his face to see who he really was). As near as they could tell, Belle was his. For a couple of hours every week she was. Today, however, she wore a uniform nearly identical to what most of his female staffers wore: a simple skirt with a button-down shirt and suit jacket. The only difference was Belle wore it better, complete with kitten heels, a sleek satin blouse, a billowing curtain of bright caramel tresses and all matching rose gold jewelry. And unlike the women that actually belonged there, Belle wasn’t shy about letting her clothes hug her every curve, or give just a tease of her feminine features with a couple of undone buttons.

Aiden only had a half hour to spare in between his last meeting of the day and picking up the children from school. And he wanted that half hour to lose himself in Belle. It would never be enough, not for what he needed to do. She’d arrived ten minutes early, so when he returned from a conference call she was waiting for him in his office sitting on top of his desk with parted knees revealing to him that she’d worn his favorite under her skirt, which was of course nothing. He imagined her strolling right past some of the most powerful people in the nation knickerless with her head held high and her hips swaying with each confident step.

When he first met Belle he’d needed the company, and caved under the pressure of a string of lonely nights doused in bottles of whiskey, scotch and brandy. He found her after depleting his liquor cabinet. He quickly faced the grim choice of drowning his sorrows in liver-killing liquor or a sweet and warm body. It would have been worth the impending scandal for just a few hours of relief. But Belle never even made a face or mention his occupation. Surely she’d seen him on the news. She would know who he was. Anybody else might have cared, might have fought the urge to sneak in a few questions related to his work or all the drivel on the media. Belle was better company than that. If he’d wanted to talk about work she would have happily listened. But with her he never did.

Belle was dangerous. Aiden opened up to her almost immediately. How could he help himself when she cuddled up to him so naturally as if she’d known him for ages? How could he not reveal to her his secrets when she hummed her approval of his every whim in little kisses anywhere that her sweet strawberry pink lips could reach? He could resist a seductress with ease. But her warm smile and dark honey eyes were genuine, albeit hidden beneath her shield of heavy makeup. The cuddles, kisses and laughs were an act. Her exaggerated moans and encouragement when he buried himself and his loneliness inside her were a part of her job. He knew all of this. Yet when she straightened her face and batted her eyes at him while gently telling him he could trust her he forgot it all. Her seeing his need to expel all of his anger and grief wasn’t the escort he’d slipped into bed with. The sweet girl that held him close as he let loose a flood of emotions all at once was real. Belle had ensnared him. Just like that he’d given a complete stranger pieces of himself, and got so little in return. But it was just enough. Just like that Belle de Jour owned him. He hated it.

He’d been so terrified of her that he didn’t make another appointment for a whole two weeks. The worst of it was Belle left Aiden feeling lonelier in her absence than he felt in the first place. When he contacted her again he called her himself. He refused to be made to feel like every other punter that had to go through a madam. Aiden wasn’t just any other punter. He proved as much when he took her aback by telling her that’d he’d missed her. Her widened smokey eyes said that he’d stolen her line. That was the real girl, he made a note, because it wasn’t Belle that he missed. He missed the girl who wore Belle’s clothes, the one that gave away only small pieces of herself that she wasn’t aware were shining through. She couldn’t be paid for, so he wasn’t allowed to know her name.

It made the fact that he really could trust her even worse. Belle knew the names of his children, about Noah’s Asperger syndrome, of his father’s passing and Aiden’s guilt. He’d told her so much but he didn’t even know her real name. He’d needed to see her just one more time, if only to work up the courage to ask to spend time with her properly. For once, Aiden Hoynes proved to himself that he could be a spineless coward. If he paid for Belle she would  _have_  to keep his confidence, she couldn’t betray him as so many others had. It was a plan that was far sturdier than risking her trust in a real relationship, risking being made a fool of by another woman. Any given day Belle could walk out and tell the world that Aiden Hoynes was sleeping with a whore. But he had at least a little bit of trust in the girl behind the Belle mask.

It felt every bit like a real relationship, one that cost him thousands of dollars. Not all of it was the “fee.” After his first month of appointments with Belle, he began to have gifts ready for her when they met. He couldn’t bring himself to think about whether anyone else had done this. All he knew was she loved the gifts he gave her: the most expensive perfume he could find, satin sheets for her bed, the fluffiest dressing gown, a giant screen television, the list went on. They were all gifts for the woman whose name he didn’t know, not for Belle. She seemed to have a quiet understanding of this. There was a time that he arrived at her flat early to her removing a different sheet set to dress the bed in the collection of linens that he gave her. With a sheepish grin she admitted to him that they’d become her personal sheets, that nobody was allowed to sleep on them but the two of them. If he’d thought Belle had a hold on him before, she well and truly did after that.

It was an absurd notion, however, being completely enamored with a girl that he scarcely knew. He knew little details, like how she blinked slowly as she tucked away her blonde curls, or that when she genuinely laughed he could see all her teeth. He knew that her eyes appeared as blonde as her deep golden hair in the sunlight. He knew that she preferred coffee to tea most days, and that she wasn’t at all shy about eating a decent sized meal so long as she exercised soon after. He’d lapped up little trickles of the real woman behind Belle’s mask, just enough for him to keep up his pursuit.

After treating himself on his birthday to a whole night with her he learned that she didn’t actually  _sleep_  with her clients. But when he requested she make an exception to her personal rule for him he found that when she wasn’t hogging the bed she curled herself into him like a cat. She even purred in her sleep. When she woke up in the morning she didn’t immediately fall into her persona. Aiden guessed that this was why she didn’t sleep with her clients, but he wouldn’t have traded it in for anything. She rolled over while smacking her lips and groaned at him to go make some coffee. Of course he did it. When he returned she’d changed her mind, dragging him back into bed for a lazy morning shag. Belle was developing a knack for getting Aiden to shift in his set ways, including his compulsive need to always be in control. And she let him, that’s what he paid her for after all. But she challenged him this time, without even uttering a single word. She reeled him in with a gentle brushing of her lips across his, knowing that if he wanted more he’d have to follow. So she eased him onto the bed before capturing him between her silky thighs.

“Tell me…” his commanded, lips brushing hers between idle kisses. He nipped her lip to keep her from moving, but it wasn’t enough. She moved to tasting his ear and marking his shoulder. Marking her wasn’t okay. But there weren’t any rules about him, and her teeth knew it as they worked in concert with her slick tongue tongue to fashion a purple halo on his shoulder. Each subtle movement she made had him rutting and bucking his hips against hers, seeking any relief from the bit of friction her moist folds against his growing shaft. “… your name.”

Belle sat up and traced a line from the stubble on his adam’s apple to the short lawn in the center of his chest. She giggled and threaded her fingers gently through the hair there and brushed his nipple with her thumb. “You know it, silly,” she teased with the sultry Belle smile. Fake.

Belle scooted back onto his legs and let her finger make a trail down Aiden’s chest to his ribs and stopped at his navel. She reached for his now throbbing cock, but as soon as her delicate fingers wrapped around him he grabbed her wrist. She looked down at him, her face twisted in confusion. He brought her hand to his face so he could take her fingers into his mouth one by one to suck off her juices that had gathered on his shaft.

“I know Belle. And she’s gorgeous. But I have to know the name of the girl behind Belle, the one that breaks her rules for me,” he argued after popping her ring finger into his mouth and letting his tongue tease her ticklish skin there. “And I want to know the woman that lets me stay well past my time because she wants a good shag before I go; the one that slept in my shirt last night. I want to know her name, so I can have both of you.”

“That’s not how it works, darling, and you know it,” she purred after her sleepy eyes fluttered open when he released her little finger with a squeaking pop. “Getting a bit greedy, are we?” She played, and licked her teeth.

Again, that was Belle. But the girl behind her mask had wild eyes darting over his body, and her breathing picked up. Him being possessive over her excited and scared her. Given her… lifestyle she should have been angry or terrified. She should have cut him off right there. But when Aiden rose up, helped her fall to the bed and pinned her with his gaze and his hands framing her face she simply froze. He heard her breath tremble in puffs. He set knee between her legs and soaked up her swallowed moan when he shifted it forward.

“Don’t call me pet names anymore,” he murmured while a hand drifted from her face to her neck and squeezed it a little. Never a passive partner, Belle kissed his arm as it came within reach. Her lips never ceased to make his skin sizzle. “You know my name. It’s Aiden,” he reminded her as he cupped her breast and rolled its sensitive flesh between his fingers.

He pressed his knee to her sex, and her hips were eager to respond with a gentle grind. He found that her moans were soft in the mornings, much like her bed-kissed skin and her slightly tangled locks. She never asked for anything, but she liked to encourage him with her quivering sighs and breathless gasps. She probably shouldn’t have. These moments where she gave in to her own impulses were always fleeting. Aiden could have taken what he wanted from her and sought to his own needs. That’s what he paid her for. But how would he distinguish himself if he did? He shifted his knee back to accommodate his eager hand.

“Call me Aiden,” he demanded in a whisper while dipping a finger into her throbbing heat. He wasted no time in pumping it in and out while awaiting Belle’s answer. But she was scarcely paying attention to his words. Her hips bucked against his palm.

“Aiden,” she sighed, and closed her eyes.

He retreated his finger from her sex, causing her eyes to fly back open. “Look at me, Belle.” When she complied he resumed his ministrations, and as he held her gaze her breaths her breaths grew shakier. He inserted another finger into her heat and began to quicken his pace. “Now, say my name and tell me what want. Anything, tell me.”

“Aiden, I want you.”

Belle’s head rose off the bed and Aiden found himself automatically leaning in to return the kiss that she was seeking. But before he complied, he whispered onto her lips, “I want the same. You.” She didn’t want to offer him a kiss after that, finding a reply she wanted to give him instead. But he held it beneath the kiss. With the previous night’s lipstick fading away he could taste just her, that girl behind Belle. Of course she was sweet, just a bit mild. He needed more, and sucked her bottom lip into his mouth, letting it swell on his tongue. Meanwhile, he reached across the bed to the nightstand, grappling blindly for a foil packet until he caught one between his fingers.

Belle took it from him and ripped it open with her teeth. She reached forward to grab a hold of him to roll on the condom herself. “You don’t want me,” she panted as her head fell back to the bed. “I’m trouble.”

Aiden made certain she saw him sucking her off his fingers before sinking down to the bed. But he didn’t give her what she wanted straight away. He held himself in place just before her entrance, teasing it and her slick folds with the head of his cock. She hissed. “I  _do_  want you. I love trouble.” He couldn’t resist sinking right into her, as she’d made him ache for her with her little game of cat and mouse. “I have to know, for when I ask you, how do you want it?”

Belle brought her hands above her head, and it was all the answer he needed. He felt a slight pang of disappointment that for all her early morning amorousness, she still wanted the usual. Nevertheless, he wasn’t about to disappoint her. Though he spent a great deal of money on her each week, Aiden still held an innate desire to give her anything and everything that she wanted. For once in his life he had someone he wanted to spoil absolutely rotten. And she would let him, so long as he called her by her stage name. She knew he could just as easily cheat and find out her name himself. He didn’t need to be Deputy Prime Minister for that. Any idiot could do a bit of googling and find the information with ease. Aiden wasn’t any idiot. As he clutched Belle’s wrists and set a quick and deep rhythm just as she bid, he searched around her flat for his next gift idea. She could do with some new appliances, he wagered.

He had some delivered the next day, a brand new fridge stocked with champagne, along with a new range. He trusted that he didn’t need to leave a note with the man installing them. Belle would know. And sure enough, she called him that afternoon in between a meeting and a press conference to squeal in his ear. He took the opportunity to ask her then what else she might have wanted. He’d never asked, was always merely guessing. But for an entire day he replayed their time in her bed, using the brand new gasping moans she’d offered him as fuel to get through his day. He remembered her sighing his name as she held him in place to ride the waves of her pleasure. He could deal with dimwitted employees, backwards cabinet members, and Freya nagging away at him if he just disappeared to that place again. Aiden had been with  _her_ , even if just for a few fleeting moments between the times that Belle resurfaced. It carried him through the next week.

Belle’s request was absurdly simple. He’d told her he could buy her a really nice car, even chauffeur to drive her around. But that’s not what she wanted. She wanted his shirts, worn and unclean, sounding every bit like a schoolgirl and not remotely caring. Something to remember him by, she’d said. With that he realized this half hour appointment was all he’d be allowed before she cut him off entirely. It surely must have been a courtesy, if not for Belle’s sake. He’d crossed the line by asking for her real name. He’d come close to looking her up on his computer, but resisted. Aiden was determined to earn it. He had a half hour, it wasn’t going to waste.

Aiden’s money never went to waste, of course. He became all too familiar with her bed. They had more than one tryst while showering. Belle gave in to his every whim. But she never surrendered control without making him work for it. He never needed to tell her that capturing her was that much more rewarding when he’d earned it. She was perfectly okay with him liking it rough, so long as he never left a mark. But that was all sex, sex with Belle. It had seen him through a rough time. But it wasn’t what he wanted anymore. So it was just as well if she was indeed cutting him off.

Aiden had been chasing after the glimmer he saw of the girl behind Belle’s confident facade. Belle was a flaxen-haired goddess on a pair of perfect legs that turned every head of a room she walked into. She wasn’t afraid of any man, nor their strange desires. She could handle herself in any situation, or walk away from anyone she didn’t deem fit to be in her presence. She had a grin that slayed hearts, and a sass to match. She had a brand of courage that could face down parliament if she so chose. And some of it was real. But since they first met, Belle let Aiden see little glimmers of a lonely, scorned girl. She was sweet and down to Earth sort of girl who loved to cuddle and be pampered a little. She wasn’t even remotely his type, and he didn’t even know her name. So naturally Aiden Hoynes found himself hopelessly in love with her.

“Come here,” Aiden bid of Belle merely a breath after entering his office. She hopped off the desk and approached him. He pulled her into a tight embrace and growled. “I missed you,” he confessed before he pressed his lips roughly to hers.

“Darling, Aiden what’s wrong?” Belle pulled back and asked before giving him a few softer kisses.

“There’s not enough time for this.”

She kisses his neck and purred at him. “Mm, we’ll make it worth our while, though, won’t we?”

“You’re damn right I will.”

Aiden had no interest whatsoever in shagging Belle that day. He drank in her whiskey eyes and memorized that gleam of sadness that he shared with her, that little bit of silent understanding. That was the girl he wanted to make love to, the one that was going to turn down the Deputy Prime Minister because he couldn’t handle her. He thought about throwing Belle on that desk and shagging her brains out. His stronger urges certainly wanted to.

But his girl deserved better. He gave it to her. If the world could captured with his fingers and lips he had it. If it could be given away, he gave it to her in caresses, kisses and nibbles of her flesh. And all that he took away were little tastes of her tangy ripe skin here and there. She’d been told on a daily basis how beautiful she was. And she probably worked her arse off for it. Of course she was beautiful, a goddess by his standards. And he told her so. But more importantly he whispered into her ear how much he adored her genuine laugh. And she gave him one right as he traced the crescent with his bottom lip. He murmured right into the gooseflesh on the gentle swells of her breasts just how sweet she was. He trapped her hot button between his teeth and growled into it how much her loved her soft moans. Belle threw her arm across her face and looked away from him.

“There’s not… you don’t have to do this… we’ve burned through twenty minutes already…” Belle panted as he flicked his tongue at her clit. He had a finger buried deep in her sex, and it was surprisingly lucky about finding the sweet spot hidden amongst her pillowy flesh. She was trembling madly, approaching her peak, and was doing everything she could to hold off and hide it from him.

“Don’t hold back, not now, not from me,” Aiden pulled back and told her, offering her pleading eyes that he never made use of. They were saved for special occasions such as this one.

He could have told her right then and there, kneeling on his office floor, from between her thighs peering up at her makeup-masked face. His hands massaging her hips and his tongue lapping at her tightly coiled bundle of nerves weren’t enough. A thousand and one gifts would never be enough. Reminding her how beautiful and sweet she was wouldn’t do the trick. Even telling her wouldn’t be enough, not when he only knew a part of her.

“I need you,” Belle groaned, grinding her hips against his face. “Aiden.”

He’d never ripped clothes off his body in the most unnecessary fashion. He was certain he’d popped a button on his oxford, which really didn’t even to be taken off, given that it would have to come right back on. But in the heat of the moment any bit of fabric between Aiden’s parched skin and Belle’s eager flesh was in the way. He’d never seen her feverishly rip open a condom packet as she did while lying back on his couch. Ten minutes. To her ten minutes was more than enough. Her hand even flew to her clit in the few seconds it took him to position himself above her. She needed relief from the tension that he’d spent the past twenty minutes building up. And he’d be damned if he wasn’t going to be the man to give it to her.

She cried his name repeatedly, the sweetest song to fall on his ears. He’d started out so strong for her, but she weakened him. With every peal of his name from her lips, to his lips, on his shoulder or gasped into the air his resolve waned. She told him she was coming and it triggered the words that had been floating around in his mind since he’d stepped into the room.

“Come home with me,” he pleaded into her neck as he followed her peak with his, wishing he could be emptying himself to her instead of holding back as he ought to. At least for that short moment he wasn’t going anywhere with her heels digging into his arse.

 

* * *

 

Hannah pushed Aiden up off her and swallowed hard, feeling slightly robbed of the gentle peace and slow ripples that came with easing out of her climax. She was still quivering just a little, wanting to hold on to it. She stood up and buried her face in her hands. She’d hoped to at least get dressed before Aiden started making appeals. They’d barely even finished fucking, if she could even call it that. He’d made a conscious effort to take care of her, a very different man from the one that was sometimes impatient enough to throw her against a wall and have his way with her (of course, she had a fondness for him, too). It could have been worse, she told herself. It could have been a lot worse. He could have told her he had feelings for her. But that point was moot when he looked like a kicked puppy sitting on the couch cleaning himself off as she got dressed.

“I can’t, you know I can’t,” she sighed as she hooked her bra. “I’ve got another appointment later.”

Her mistake became clear when Aiden’s brow furrowed his eyes into a smolder. It didn’t matter that he sat there naked. The effect was still the same. It sent an icy chill racing down Hannah’s spine. She backed into his desk when he clawed the leather of his couch. A couple of seconds of him staring her down felt like an eternity for tension to build up the thickness in the dusty air.

“Aiden, I…” Hannah stammered as she approached him to grab more of her clothes. She had to, they were sitting by the couch where he was.

“Oh no, you’ve made your point abundantly clear,” he hissed as he stood up. He backed her into the wall next to the couch. “You’ll go home to freshen up and put on more of that mask of yours so that in a couple of hours some other man, some ugly sack of hairy skin can pile himself on you because he’s paid for it? Paid for you? You’ve never been so callous.”

He’d never been so cold. “You know about my work! You  _are_  my work!” she bit back.

“Like you weren’t pretending along with me that I haven’t been.”

Aiden leaned in close and pinned her to the wall. He knew he had a hold on her without ever touching her, that if she really wanted she could slither out of his clutches and run away. But he bore his teeth at her in a viciously hungry grin as he watched her eyes travel from his sharp collarbone to his subtle set of abs that she had to hold back from stroking. He watched her bite her lip while she imagining her lips tracing his appendectomy scar, running her hands over his soft thighs, and nibbling along the muscles on his hips leading to his stiffening cock. It didn’t take him long this time, which was incredibly impressive for a man that sometimes had issues.

“Go ahead and tell me I’m not special,” Aiden challenged.

She peered at him through hooded eyes and almost reached out to comb her fingers through his dusty hair. While he waited for her to answer he leaned in further, pushing his erection into her belly.

“Go on then, say it. After you slept what  _you_  said were only my sheets. After you cried my name begging me for release because you forgot completely that you were working. After you let me stay several hours after my time so we could have a cuddle on the couch while watching the telly that I gave you. How many appointments have you canceled for me? How many of your ‘punters’ call you personally to schedule their appointments? Hm? How many of them lavish you with gifts as I do?”

“You’re different, okay? Is that what you want?”

His breath was hot on her lips, and for a moment Hannah dreamed of tasting the bitter tea on his tongue, and the little bits of sweetness left on his lips from a pastry he’d enjoyed. She felt like she was being interrogated, but the only person she could seek comfort from was him. He could have been a bear pinning his pray, lapping up all of the adrenaline from her before enjoying his tasty meal. Her cheeks warmed her face and she searched for any bit of softness in his angry stare. He pressed his forehead to hers. He was cruel, bringing his lips so close.  When he was angry, his freckles brightened and his adam’s apple bobbed in his throat like a wolf ready to pounce.

“You know what I want.”

He wanted Hannah, of course. They all wanted Hannah. Belle’s beauty but with Hannah’s personality. It’s always what they wanted. Aiden was different from all her other clients, yes. But he’d be no different from her previous boyfriends. It made what he was doing crush her, because she couldn’t date a man like him. He was the perfect client. Why couldn’t he just accept that? Why was it not enough? Why was  _she_  never enough? Of everything she tried for the love of men, it was never enough. They always wanted more. Did they all want to bleed her dry?

“This isn’t fair, Aiden.”

“You could have so much more, Belle. All you have to do is let me in. That’s all.”

“Let you in and nobody else, yeah?”

He growled at her. “You know that’s not what I meant.”

“I don’t want to lose you,” Hannah admitted with her heart pounding away at her chest threatening to abandon ship.

“Who says you are? I’m right here. You’d never lose me, you know that’s your choice.”

She gripped his shoulder and scowled at him. “And that’s not fair!”

“Tell me then, if we met in different circumstances, where we’d be right now.”

“On our separate ways by now. I’m rubbish at this. Relationships.”

They were whispering to one another, but with Aiden seething and her tensing up they could have been shouting at one another. He brought his lips to hers and nibbled. She sighed. Why couldn’t that be enough? His hand found her cheek and she leaned in to it.

“Close your eyes,” he whispered. She did as she was told. “When you’re in bed at night trying to go to sleep, feeling alone and wanting company, who has it been in the past several months you wish was there every night? Hm? You don’t have to answer.” He spoke slowly, and made her shiver with his hot breath wafting in her ear. “Just tell me this. When you think about me – and I know that you do – who is it that you imagine me with, hm? What’s her name?”

Her heart hammering at her chest answered first. It was loud and clear, pumping harder and quicker the longer she took to think. With her head tucked into his neck, her waking dreams answered aloud, “Hannah.” Before she knew it, she was scooped up into his arms, claimed and victorious. “Hannah Baxter,” the part of her with no filter left added.

“Hannah,” Aiden sighed in a long drawl and kissed her neck behind her ear. He could have eaten it right up, but he savored it, savored her with a bunch of kisses on her shoulder. “Hannah,” he repeated.

“You’ve got to go,” she yipped as he picked her up and deposited her on the couch. Him twirling her onto the couch gave her a chance to peek at the clock on the wall. It was cruel playing her next card. But she wasn’t going to be his reason for being irresponsible. “Noah and Ruby.”

He growled, grumbled, and then finally sighed his resignation to adulthood. She got dressed right alongside him. As they neared his office door and drew up the blinds he stopped her and trapped her hand in both of his. He searched her eyes and kissed her forehead.

“Hannah, promise me we’ll continue this conversation later,” he gently demanded. Hannah nodded. “That you’ll go home and cancel that appointment. Wait for my call.”

She furrowed her brow at him and bit her lip. “I can’t promise any of that, Aiden. I can’t. You just caught me in a moment, is all. It doesn’t mean anything.”

Time was on her side today, since Aiden had none left. He could get away with picking Ruby up late, but not Noah. And of what little Hannah knew about Aiden’s son, she knew that much. Break routine at his own peril. She felt her stomach twisting in knots as he huffed a sigh and pushed her out the door. She’d give up a week’s pay just to be back in that office in his arms and locked in their sweet embrace. It could be worse, she repeated over and over in her head as he walked with her through Whitehall to the exit. Now was the best time to end it before she felt her ache for him grow any stronger, before she stopped remembering how to thrive on her own, before she became dependent on him and his stealthily tender heart.

“This isn’t over,” he told her as he waved down a cab for her. “And you know it.”

“Aiden…”

He looked around for a moment and then replied with, “Just kiss me goodbye, alright?”

This much she could do. He made her stand up on her tiptoes and snake her arm around his neck to reach him. Hannah poured all that she had into that kiss, pressing her chest to his as he brought his hand to her back. For a moment it was just Aiden and Hannah, returning to their safe place. His aftershave was always so crisp, and teased her nose. He’d been so gentle about parting her lips that day for their soft kisses. But this one was hard, his lips crashing into hers. His tongue went right for her weak spots, and she could still taste herself all over his mouth. It had warmth coiling low in her abdomen. His releasing her came all too soon. And before she knew it he was rubbing her back and helping her into a cab.

“Love you, Hannah,” Aiden said in the middle of a wave.

Did he just? She was certain that he did. That was her move that he just pulled as the cab drove away. He really did just say that. He let the words roll right off his tongue only moments after it stopped teasing her mouth. He spoke them loud and clear, and with such nonchalance she might have mistaken them for something like, “Take care, Hannah,” or “Don’t forget the bread, Hannah.” The nerve! She pounded the seat and kicked the floor. Now the ball was in her court. As long as it was in his court she could just ignore him. She could still just ignore him. Was he banking on how decent a human being she was? Did he know her at all? It ate away at what calm that Hannah had left. What the hell was up with that?

Ice cream turned out to be a good answer. Ice cream from the freezer Aiden gave her, to eat while she watched the telly that he also gave her. Well if he thought that he was about to guilt her with gifts he was sorely mistaken. She could just as easily give them all back (though the odds of that happening were slim to none). She plopped herself on her couch and turned on the telly. Hannah wasn’t about to be defeated by Aiden’s behavior. Or so she thought, at least.

Her mobile buzzed at the same time she turned on the news.

“Babe! Have you seen the news?” Bambi shouted in her ear.

Hannah sighed. “Yeah, I’m looking at it right now.”

“Tell me he’s not a punter!”

“Alright, I won’t.”

“Babe, you’re famous! Look at you, snogging the bleedin Prime Minister!”

“Bambi, he’s the Deputy Prime Minister.”

She snorted through the mobile. “Oh I don’t care. You’re snogging a gorgeous blonde on the news! Oh, is he wealthy? Oh! Are you two.. you  _are_  aren’t you?! Oh good for you! They’ve got video of him saying he loves you! On the news! Lucky you! Why didn’t you tell me sooner?!”

“Bye Bambi.”

She rang off and chucked her mobile on the floor.

“Fuck!” Hannah cried, and let her face fall into her hands.

Worst of all this yet was knowing she had nobody to talk to about this with. Her relationship with Ben was wrecked, and Bambi thought it was just fantastic. But that was no wonder, given what she had with Byron. And Ben would have told her to go for Aiden, of course. He’d have supported that, no matter how he felt about him. Though she was pretty sure he’d despise Aiden. He was possessive, controlling, competitive, and insecure (though he hid it exceptionally well). She didn’t want to think about any of his good qualities at that moment, though she was surrounded by them. She fished the shirts she’d asked for from her purse and brought one to her face.

It brought back a flood of memories at once: going jogging with Aiden in the park, shagging beneath a shady tree in that same park; him talking politics and combing her hair as they cuddled on her couch; his prideful smirks when she reacted to all of his gifts; the way he so openly and tenderly cried into her breasts when they first met. She thought about the latter the most. The first time they’d been together Aiden was a cocktail of anger, grief and lust all rolled up into one. And it made for a great shag, she wouldn’t lie. It had been such a long time she’d let herself go. But he brought it out of her, peeled away at Belle’s layers until he got to the Hannah that he so desperately craved. Hannah got the distinct impression that Aiden felt lonely and needed a companion. So she did what she could to make him feel like she was his girlfriend. It wasn’t the first time. But it might have been her last.

Over a thousand men in London were wandering about and Hannah wagered they’d all find out eventually. Oh, and they’d all laugh at Aiden. Would he know, they’d wonder? Would he know that the woman he kissed on the curb and offered his affections was a whore? Oh, they’d make a fool of him. Somebody would. Yet for him that had already happened once before. Aiden had already seen the worst. Something about that made a lot of sense. And then she thought about how quiet and peaceful he’d been as they walked out, compared to how he should have been on the edge, furious even. It all made so much sense. Too much sense.

Still, it didn’t matter. None of it mattered. Hannah looked at her purse and saw her work mobile sticking out of a pocket. She’d only get one more call, and it’d be from Stephanie congratulating her on bagging a wealthy man and for screwing her out of good business. The only men that would now be interested in Belle or Hannah were of the sort that should rightfully be in prison. If the public assumed that Hannah was with Aiden, any sane man would steer clear of Belle. Her career was essentially over right then and there.

“Oh, fuck!” Hannah gasped, and stumbled to the floor reaching for her work mobile.

“Relax, you dumb cow. Everything’s taken care of,” were the first words from Stephanie’s mouth.

“I didn’t do this!” Hannah shouted.

“Doesn’t matter. You ought to know better than to meet a client in a government building. It’s your own fault. You could have told me you were getting with Aiden on the side, too.”

“I was  _not_  hooking up with him on the side! Oh, but what do I do?”

“You’re asking me? I don’t know. You can’t really want to keep working.”

“Of course I do.”

There was a pause and a sigh. “Well, I’m sorry to say, that’s not an option for you. I’m not risking my livelihood on you. You’re a black mark in the industry now, Belle. You got out! Your luck astounds me. And you turn it all away just to be a whore? You should get your head looked at, dear.”

Aiden tried to ring her every chance he got. When this didn’t work, he flooded her flat with gifts. These were of a different variety than anything he’d given her before. He sent her cute kitten jim jams, a whole collection of films to watch, flowers every day, chocolates, gourmet meals delivered right to her door, each one with its own love note. He smothered her in gifts. The worst of it was they were actually good gifts. And he’d hired the same man to go out and fetch them all. Hannah became good friends with Dave the delivery guy. He helped her eat a good bit of the chocolates, because the fifth box threatened to upturn her stomach. Dave was the sort of bloke that would remind her that eating them all at once wasn’t necessary. She still enjoyed his company despite this, and knowing he was probably reporting all of her delighted reactions to Aiden.

Hannah didn’t miss him. She’d had time away from Aiden before. They’d gone weeks without appointments when he was especially busy. She wasn’t going to see him again. That was out of the question. He’d tricked her, tried to ensnare her. It was absolutely unacceptable, she told herself. The reason she was crying into one of his shirts every night had nothing to do with Aiden. She was grieving over the loss of her career, nothing else. She didn’t miss how hard he liked to kiss her or how she loved to cuddle up to his firm and lean muscles. She didn’t miss his arms wrapped around her as they snuggled and watched telly together. For a man as rigid as Aiden, he was rather affectionate with his cuddling. Not that she noticed, or missed it.

“I’ve got work for you, dear, since I heard from Bambi that you’ve just been rotting away in there for a week. How long were you planning on hiding away in your flat?” Stephanie finally rang nine days later.

“Until the press go away?” Hannah guessed. She peered open her blinds and found the same rag tag crew that had been camped out there since day one, waiting and chatting is if stalking her was completely acceptable behavior.

“Well you’re going to have to sneak out of there right quick, because there should be a cab pulling up to fetch you right now.”

Hannah dropped the mobile into the chair next to her. She’d probably heard Stephanie wrong. “What?”

“Now. No time for shit, shower, and shave, I’m afraid. Hope you’ve been keeping up with yourself. Though this client was rather particular with his request. He wants no makeup of any sort, no hair done, no jewelry. Come as you are, he said. He wants the girlfriend experience.”

Hannah’s heart wrenched. “Stephanie, you know I don’t do that anymore.”

“Are you really being picky right now? Have you started selling your furniture yet?”

“You’re lucky I’m bored out of my mind over here.”

There was a slight pause, and Hannah imagined Stephanie’s smug grin. “He told me to tell you that when you get there the front door will be open and to have a seat in the parlor.”

“Oh no. You know I hate those.”

“Go or don’t go. Pick one. I just hope you’ve got some other way to pay rent.”

“I hate you.”

“Yup. You’re welcome.”

Hannah made the driver wait a few minutes, because there was no way in hell her picture in the papers the next day was going to be of her in the kitten jim jams that Aiden gave her. She threw on a low cut purple sundress and fixed her hair into a ponytail. She dabbled with utterly disregarding pieces of his requests, and stared at a pair of gold hoop earrings longingly. “Shove it,” she finally said, and put them on. “Come as I am, he says. This is me.” She wasn’t one for making a client unhappy. But she also needed her comforts.

This client was a wealthy one, Hannah reasoned, as they pulled into a decent neighborhood. The houses were massive, oppressive and quiet. Then again, Stephanie had called her after dark. It was already getting late. She should have asked Stephanie if this was an overnight. As the cab came to a stop a pit of dread sank into her stomach. Was it cheating if she took this client? Just the fact that Hannah was considering this had her seething a little. He was actually getting to her! The bastard! It was all the courage she needed to step out of the cab and saunter up to the front door. She hesitated a moment before opening the door. As much of a bitch as Stephanie could be, Hannah did more or less trust her to check out clients before sending them her way. She breathed in a bit of confidence and opened the door.

Hannah felt robbed of that confidence almost immediately when she stepped inside. She didn’t feel at all like Belle here. She hadn’t even grabbed the dress from Belle’s side. She didn’t take in any of the details of her surroundings. The walls might have been warm and inviting, the furniture suitably lived on. There were photos on the walls, but she didn’t look at any of them. She found the parlor and parked herself on the couch as she’d been instructed. She smoothed her dress on her thighs and then moved to drumming her fingers on them. Belle would not feel so nervous, and she certainly wouldn’t slouch. And that was just the point. She didn’t feel like Belle at all. She felt like Hannah. Aiden would just love to be here right now, she thought. He’d tell her that the only thing making her Belle was her clothes. It was more than that, of course. But if she didn’t even feel like Belle, what was the point?

It didn’t help to peek through the closed curtains to find that the press had followed her here. That was just what she needed, for the whole country to see the Deputy Prime Minister’s new girlfriend with another man. As furious as she was with him, he didn’t deserve that sort of tempest brought down on him.

Hannah belonged to no one. That was a fact. And yet, when she felt like herself, all she could think about was Aiden. She’d seen him furious once. And his stoney gaze was certainly intimidating. It was a mainstay during their appointments, which now of course sounded like a dirty word. How would he react to this? Yet as much as his quiet rage and stone-faced expressions scared her, there was an Aiden that came to bed with her every night she was alone, and that one had soft and gentle eyes. He’d offered her that subtle smile and hooded eyes so many times recently, and she’d only just then realized she’d become attached to them. His curled eyebrows and sweet whisperings were a comfort. They were a comfort she needed right then, because while Belle could handle almost anything, Hannah felt just a bit vulnerable.

She reached into her purse and feverishly dialed Aiden’s number. With any luck he wasn’t busy. He at least had to know the truth before the press did so he could be prepared. And then she had to get a cab. She wasn’t facing that press without a cab to dash into. Finally, she would have to talk down her client and hopefully she’d be allowed to wait for her cab in his house. Or she would have to stall long enough. Hannah cringed.

“Shit..” Hannah hissed at her mobile when she was immediately taken to voicemail. She immediately tried again. “Aiden.. pick up!” she growled. No luck. She chucked her mobile back in her purse and started pacing. “Ring me a thousand times in a week and when I – ”

A hand capturing her flailing wrist made Hannah jump and scream. When she screamed, another one covered her mouth. She was about to bite down on that hand when she heard a familiar voice.

“Hannah, it’s me. Please don’t scream, you’ll wake Ruby.”

Hannah turned around to see Aiden, dressed in a jumper and denim trousers. Her immediate reaction was to slap him. And though his hand flew to his cheek to coddle the red welt appearing on his cheek, he didn’t seem at all surprised. He pursed his lips and released her wrist. The ball was in her court again.

“I’m leaving,” Hannah announced, and started for the door.

“Hannah,” he called after her, and raced to stand in front of the door. “Hear me out.”

She cast her eyes towards the staircase. “Your kids are upstairs?”

He looked at a picture of a young lad that must have been Noah and sighed. He shared his father’s stoney gaze, but he carried his mother’s face. “It’s just Ruby. Noah hasn’t spoken to me since this bit in the news began.”

Hannah’s eyes grew wide. “They know about me?”

“Yeah.”

Hannah chuffed at him and waltzed back into the parlor to sit down. “Your own fault.”

Aiden popped into the kitchen and reappeared a minute later with two mugs of tea. He handed her one with a drawing by Ruby on it. Aiden made a good stick figure, she mused. He gave her half a cushion’s worth of space, close enough to show that he cared but far enough to give her a personal bubble. He took one sip of tea before setting it down on the glass coffee table.

“I can’t really hide anything from them anymore. Ruby was upset, but she’s easier to negotiate with than Noah.” Aiden explained.

“You make it sound as though we’re a couple,” she replied bitterly, and breathed in the steam wafting up from her tea.

“I meant to greet you right after you came in. But just before you arrived, Ruby woke up from a nightmare,” he further explained. The idea that her smoldering, competitive Aiden was a dad hadn’t settled until he said this. “What were you going to ring me about?”

She shook her head and sipped her tea. “Doesn’t matter.”

“You were frightened, of course it matters.”

“Didn’t want the press getting the wrong idea, that I’m with other men,” Hannah blurted into her mug. It had become her shield.

A slight smirk tugged at a corner of his mouth. “They know I live here. I think they were hoping we were going out. You won’t have to talk to them. They’ll go away in a couple hours if they think you’re staying the night.” Her privacy bubble didn’t last long, as he scooted towards her and leaned in a little. “There was something else.”

“I don’t.. I don’t do this, not like this,” Hannah complained.

“Not as Hannah?” he suggested, and she nodded. “I’m not paying you tonight. And that awful madam of yours can shove it if she doesn’t like it.”

Hannah’s shoulders relaxed, though she wasn’t even aware they were tensed. “Thank you.”

“I didn’t ask you over here for an appointment. This was the only way I knew to get a hold of you, that’s all.”

“What have you got to say then?”

He gripped her thigh and shot her an intense gaze. But it didn’t pair well with his tapping feet and warm sighs. He was nervous. “Promise me you won’t run off?”

“Promise.”

“We need to talk about Belle and Hannah.” Hannah moved to get up, but he pushed her leg back down. “You promised. Now be good and listen.” She sighed and set down her tea. He took the opportunity to grab her hands. “The previous men in your life wanted just Hannah, right? No Belle, just Hannah.” Hannah nodded. “They wanted you without your job. They wanted to pretend it didn’t exist.”

“Not all of them. You don’t know everything. You only think you know me,” Hannah bit back, pulling her hands away. But they weren’t willingly given.

Aiden grinned. “You don’t get to where I am without knowing people, Hannah. If I wasn’t good at this I wouldn’t have taken any gambles in my career. I’d be a back-bencher still. I’m going to guess that you believe you love the work that you do. But I think you’re wrong. I think what you enjoy most is the rush of adrenaline you get from it, and having that control. You think I don’t know what it’s like to walk into a room and know that you own it? I  _crave_  that rush. Every day.”

“It’s not just that,” Hannah protested. “The sex is good too.”

“Free of responsibilities, free of the worry that you’ll get hurt or hurt someone. Of course it’s good. Hannah, I don’t doubt that you’ve been burned. But you need to hear this.” He pointed at his window. “Those men out there? They’re not your friends. They’ll call you beautiful and run home to their wives. They’ll say you’re amazing but behind your back they’ll call you a whore. And maybe you don’t mind that. But what they’re also thinking is that you’ve been with so many other men. There’s something ingrained in a man’s psyche that tells him to run at that point, if they don’t outright hate you for it. They may pretend otherwise, but that’s the truth. There’s nothing real with those men.”

“1,068 of them,” Hannah interrupted. She watched Aiden’s eyes bulge a little before he fixed his face into that stoney gaze she’d come to know so well. “See? Even you.”

“You didn’t let me finish.”

Hannah sighed and freed her hands for a moment. Someone was nervous and sweating. Aiden was the one in the jumper, so she chose to believe it was him. “You don’t need to, I get it. You want to tie me down, to be the one that conquers them all.”

Aiden leaned in and pushed Hannah back into the couch. The moment she felt her breathing pick up he retorted with, “A small part of you  _likes_  that idea. You think you’re doing those men that fancied you a favor by staying away. And when you gave in you were all too eager to prove them wrong, weren’t you? That you’re a mess that can’t be handled?”

“Not always.”

“Most of the time. The desire was always there. But you just can’t believe that one man would stay with you, that one man can be reliable. You don’t trust yourself. You trust Belle because she’s infallible, but no decent bloke you’d love wants her, right? Nobody would have both of you, they all want you to drop one or the other. Belle has always been a part of you, Hannah. She’s the part of us that always believes in ourselves, does whatever she pleases, breaks the rules. She’s freedom. Nobody should want to take that away from you. But you don’t need the second name or the occupation in order to keep her.”

Aiden leaned in and pressed his forehead to hers, just as he did in his office. The soft fabric of his jumper brushed her arm and her breath hitched a little. Hannah closed her eyes, and her thoughts were flown back to their sweet lovemaking on his couch. In his absence she allowed herself to call it that, because then she could keep it as hers and not Belle’s. She’d been thinking in terms of two different people. They may as well have been. They had separate phones, separate wardrobes, separate rules. One of them would have already peeled off that smothering jumper and the t-shirt beneath it. The other was too rattled to even think about sex. It made her head spin. She pursed her lips to keep the emotions welling up inside from spilling out of her eyes.

“You’re not two different people, Hannah,” Aiden softened further, and threaded his fingers through her hair. He had insistent but delicate fingers that were skilled in enticing purrs from her. When she did, he brought his other hand up to frame her face. “You’re beautiful inside and out, you don’t need all that makeup for it to show. You look gorgeous with it on. But you’re just as attractive with bedhead.”

“I’m not good at this,” Hannah squeaked.

“I’m divorced.”

“I’m not good with kids.”

“Neither am I. And they’re mine.”

“What happens when this doesn’t work out? You took away my career. What am I supposed to do? You can’t just expect me to be okay with that.”

Aiden got up off the couch to pace back and forth. He stared her down and shouted, “What will it take? For fuck’s - ”

“Shh!” Hannah hissed at him, and smacked his hip. She pointed at the ceiling. “Ruby’s asleep.”

She expected Aiden to flop back on the couch or drag her up off it. Instead, he paced the floor for a moment and then grinned at her. “I know. I  _dare_  you. I dare you to find a way to make this fail.”

Hannah brought her hands to her face and folded them in front of her mouth. “You’re serious. What is this then? What do you want from me? Why me?”

That’s what brought him back to the couch. He sat down knee to knee next to her. “I want to get to know you better. Alright fine, I’m selfish. You inspire me to be selfish. I want to wake up with you in the mornings. I want to go jogging with you and find a secret spot in the park to make love in because I know you can’t give up some excitement in your life. I want to see you keep making that scrunched up face whenever I say make love. Is the idea of it so weird to you?”

“It just doesn’t seem like you. And what’re you saying, you want me to move in? That’s completely reckless. We barely…” but she stopped. She wasn’t winning that argument. “You’ve lost your mind, Aiden.”

“Or found it.” He rested his head on her shoulder and sighed. He then craned his head up and curled his lips into a sneering smile. “You’re scared. You can’t do it, can you?” he teased.

Hannah shot up and gasped in a growl. Aiden’s head fell to the cushion. “I can too! How dare you!” She reached forward and chucked a pillow at his face. It did nothing to diminish his growing grin.

“Prove it then, Baxter,” he chuckled.

“Fine! Just to bring your pompous arse down a few pegs. What are the terms of this wager?”

He was enjoying this a bit too much, and that it was rubbing off on her, bringing a silly grin to her face, frustrated her just a little. But it wasn’t enough to take away her fun. Hannah stood on a precipice clutching her parachute for dear life while Aiden simply jumped without looking back. It was difficult not to dive down after him. Who knew where they’d land? She always felt safe with Aiden, even when he was pushing her limits.

“You move in with me. Try something crazy for once, something completely mad! Take a risk, the bigger the risk the bigger the reward. I love you, Hannah. And you love me too. Those are my terms.”

She chuffed at him and folded her arms over her chest. “You can’t make me loving you a term.”

“I can. And you do. Do you really want to win this bet?”

“What do you get if you win, then?”

Aiden reached up and grabbed Hannah by her waist to pull her in. She let him bring her down into his lap and set about massaging his shoulders. “A gorgeous blonde all to myself, to love and cherish, just for who you are.”

He punctuated these words not with a kiss but a nuzzle on her nose and a grin against her cheek. He did leave a little peck there, but as he pulled back a little, the gaze she met was worth at least a thousand kisses. In Aiden’s eyes there was no room for doubt. They were dark and still as always, but now heavy under the weight of his words. Hannah could almost see everything he felt for her in just one look. That mischievous grin dared her to think about what she was leaving behind. He terrified her in the best way with that grin, but it came with his soft embrace. It was altogether very Aiden, very much the man she’d fallen in love with.

“That’s not fair though,” Hannah complained, and stole a chaste kiss. “I want that too.”

“So let me win. You can have that, and so much more. Anything you want.”

“Mm, I like the sound of that,” she replied against his approaching lips.

 

* * *

 

Hannah didn’t tell him until the morning. It was rather fitting, she found, to wait until the sun had risen on a brand new day. She whispered her love for him into his chest when she spotted his eyes blinking open. Telling Aiden that she loved him felt the most natural when she was swathed in his arms and legs beneath a nest of blankets listening to his heart greeting her ears with its gentle strumming. He returned her love full force, both in the bed and in the shower, before they had to return back to Earth and be responsible. While Ruby caught a few more winks of sleep, Aiden took Hannah out to greet the press and make a statement. Hannah hadn’t felt more respected in her life than when Aiden introduced her as his girlfriend, but that the press was to treat her as his family and give her the privacy that she deserved.

“You really meant that out there, about family?” Hannah prompted while leaning up against the bannister inside the door.

She watched the press filing out of the street through the door’s window and felt dizzy just thinking about how sincere Aiden had sounded. She’d barely had enough time to register that they were in love, and that he expected her to move in. It was all happening so quickly, and it felt so reckless. But never in her life had she gotten a rush from recklessness that could beat the throes of passion she was accustomed to.

Aiden was headed towards the kitchen to get breakfast going when he stopped and arched his brow. He marched back over to Hannah and brought her into his arms. He dropped a kiss to her forehead and murmured, “Of course I meant it. I’m hoping you might stay a while.” He released her and she started heading towards the kitchen ahead of him.

“Hmm, I’d love too. I do have one appointment later.” She curled her neck around and saw him blanch. He couldn’t speak, heart falling into his stomach she wagered. “With the Deputy Prime Minister. Though… I think he’ll be a while.” Hannah bounced her eyebrows at him and yipped when he swatted her bum.

“Best not schedule any more just in case,” he played along.

Hannah giggled and blocked him from entering the kitchen so she could steal another hug, which she found he was more than willing to give. “Best not.”


End file.
